This morning started with finding a piece of wisdom from Jada Pinkett Smith. I found it on my Facebook timeline. It felt like it was speaking directly to me. I feel lots of resistance when thinking about what it said, because it's NOT what i want to look at in myself. But on the other hand I know it’s the only way to go. I have to look at if i am true to my own heart right now.
After i was alone i started to prepare for my 1st shamanic journey, like i planned for today and I wrote about in my previous post. I prepared doing some sage burning rituals. But i somehow never got to make the journey because there was an unfinished painting on my table and it kept pulling my attention. I just could not look away. So i decided to finish this first and maybe do the journey tomorrow.
The painting made me feel very emotional and i felt it strong because of that first piece of wisdom i read this morning, (the one from Jada). My process when I am painting is much about an intuitive flow, and I pick up from what surrounds me, and all that needs my souls' attention finds a way into my work.
So today was about this deep sadness i been feeling and that has been excruciating for me. I want to be lifted from this sadness.. Even if this dream I been having never comes true for him and me, the dream i been whishing for for 10 lonely months now. I don’t know what to do about that anymore to let it come true... I just know I desperately want to feel happy again.
Words in the painting:
*Please black Obsidian, I need your power.
*am I somebody’s dream, (woman)??
*My tears are connected to heaven, my blood is the rain in your heart.
*are you my spirit, Horse?
*NO! I don’t want to be looked at from nehind glass and from a 300 miles distance anymore..I want to be touched, I want to be held, I want to be loved by real hands and real skin.
0 comments:
Post a Comment