Shadows

        
What an inspiring story about healing, wow!! I have no idea what it must be like to hear voices in your head. I can only imagine how lonely and scared she must have felt.  The way she handled her journey towards the light gives me so much hope and inspiration in me healing my own shadows.

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Cherry dream

I had a dream last night where I encountered a huge tree full of ripe and enormously big cherries. Dark red, shiny and juicy cherries. I picked a handful and ate them, they tasted so sweet and were as juicy as they looked. It was from a tree in my friends garden. I tried to tell her they were there but she somehow just pulled up her shoulders and did not really seem to care. I felt frustrated by her response and tried again to make her see what richness she had hanging from the tree in HER garden. But she kept looking the other way..

I forgot all about the dream until my daughter asked me this morning at breakfast if she could taste one of the elderberries we picked yesterday. When she tasted one she said ‘mommy, this cherry tastes like flowers’..

Then boom, like a light bulb the dream came back to me. It had been a very vivid dream, I remember the cherries into detail, their color, their texture and their taste..

I found out that cherries in dream have all sorts of very beautiful meanings...

It was a ‘cherry morning’.  It just occurred to me she had picked, (or did I?) her cherry blouse to wear to school this morning. It’s a lovely start of the day, I love synchronicity...  

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Highest time to let go!!!!

LET GO!!!

So then tell me why is it so d*%#*m hard to let go of what is not serving, enriching or nourishing me? 

Let go of that heart that isn't really there, a heart that is empty.

Everything i do, i say, i write is going into a black hole. Going through, going nowhere.

It must be a dark, wide and empty space, when not even my own voice as ever echoed back at me. 

Why is it so hard to let go of something that is making me feel emty hearted and cheap???
In fact it should be so simple to let go, because i would be letting go of nothingness! 

Please give me strenght and clairity to cut out of my heart what is not bringing tenderness.
Please help me to keep seeing the truth in this.
Please help me to make the choices that are best for me and my children.
Please help me to the stay strong and determined!

Please help me to move on to the best place in my life.
The place where i should be and where i deserve to be.. 

Please help so me(myself), anything or anyone will not drag me down anymore!!!

Please help me to let go of what is holding me back!

I really had ENOUGH!!!

**************

Amen

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let the struggle be...

I was, and still am, struggling so much with this painting. This is has not began out of one of the shamanic journeys with Pixie Campbell in the course Visual Quest i'm doing. .  I started this the same day I took my firts journey.  I started it parallel to the one about the journey. 

This one is, or was, (i still dont know), supposed to be a gift for someone. Someone I like but have never met in person. I wanted to see if i could paint that persons energy. But the more I work on it the more it seems to be about the journey i took. 

It’s so weird how painting has a flow of where it wants to go of its own, and letting that process just be is beautiful. That’s one of the many things about painting I need to learn. 

Pixie Campbell’s’ wise words help me a lot in my process of letting me come through in my paintings as opposed to letting my intellect and what i learned in art school come through into my work...

Painting and using ones intuition....

Bring it all out, lay it all on the canvas. This can bring up what sucks or what still hurt, stuff that’s eating at us, what’s bothering us, what’s glugging our pipes, what’s creating resistance.  Which obviously not limited to painting. Our discomfort, our anxieties comes up.  So you know what your struggles are about. The best therapist we have is to create.  To follow that energy into the painting.  There is always an opportunity, it’s to look where we can affirm and reassure, the opportunity is to let it be, to let it flow.  To practice acceptance, sit with the discomfort., and at the same keep moving through it. Painting is about being brave.. flow at into the emotional waters of yourself.

-Pixie Campbell 

These two creatures are probably the only elements i was content with in the older versions of this painting. I dont know what they are, but i like them..

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Love this

In each moment, depending on where our attention is, we are either practicing being awake, being presence, or being caught up in our stories. The past, the future. What he or she did, what I will do when, when a particular thing happens and I will finally be happy. You know the way it goes. So, in this very moment, what are you practicing?
When I remembered what Natalie said, I was practicing a familiar kind of suffering. I was believing one of my top ten stories about what's wrong with me. And then, the moment I remembered what my friend said, I realized I had a choice. I could stop. Right now. Then I noticed that the sun came out in my body. I felt lighter. I felt free.
The moment you realize you have a choice, the moment you stop being enthralled by your own fantasy, everything changes. It's as if a bubble pops and you wake up from your own dream.
So--what are you practicing right now?

-Geneen Roth

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