Medicine for the soul

Picture by Jan Saudek

This post is a bit hard to post, because for me its one of the hardest things to be open about. But as synchronicity wants it, i AGAIN stumbled across someone's loving words full of vulnerability about the issues she has with her own body. I was really temped to just NOT post it. But it touched me too much. and then i need to post it, because it may help others as well. and not only that when i post it, it goes deeper, i take it out of its shadow, i bring the thing i fear most into the light. So it is something i need to go through, its not to be ignored by me for enabling its medicine to help me and to flow through me.

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"your body knows what you are going through.  It understands and it's been taking care of you." That was the turning point for me, you see. That's where I realized that I've been neglecting my dear body, not by abusing it--but by completely ignoring it and thinking so hateful to it at times.  That's why I had to allow my hands to draw the belly and breasts that I usually are a shame of and keep trying to pretend are not there. Most of all, I had to connect again with this great wisdom--the wisdom of my body. The flesh and muscles and bones and organs that have been witness to all that I have been going through--and have just taken and taken and taken and taken so that I could serve my family, my students, my business.....but I've been suppressing their soft wishes to finally serve myself. The woman that began to appear in my painting had wings instead of arms and a heart so bright that it's illumination glows through her skin.  She's naked and vulnerable and scarred from a child birth that didn't go as planned. She's large.  She's fleshy.  She's full. She's alive. She's strong.  She's healing.

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Here is what i copied directly out of her post. You can find the painting she made of herself and the whole written piece here