And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom
Showing posts with label shamanic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shamanic. Show all posts
Friday, September 6, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
The painting of the white horse journey is coming to its ending faze. I had some struggles with it because I had real trouble letting go of attaching to an end result. I was very focused on giving an accurate description of my journey, and wanted to paint just that. That was before I understood a tiny tiny little more of what shamanic painting is. Like the aspect of letting the painting talk to you essentially.. But hey, let’s not leave the impression that I know anything about shamanic painting now. What I try to say is that I understood even less then nothing a few weeks ago...
You know I hope I don’t bore anyone because I really need to write all this stuff down right here on my blog. Because doing that leads me to see connections from a different perspective then when I would write it down in a dairy form and just for my own eyes to see. I am discovering all sorts of new connections though writing for you. I have always wanted to write a book when I would grow up..Well maybe this blog is a start..
But okay, back to the journey. What I wanted to talk about is that I had this really weird experience with the white horse after I took my journey. The day I took the journey was the same day I had my first session with a teacher to lift my energy work up onto a more professional level. I wrote about that fabulous learning experience in this post. Anyway, back to the white horse... that evening I did a guided mediation for the learning session with my teacher and in that mediation the white horse re-appeared. But in a totally unexpected way.
During meditating I felt my legs change into horse legs, white horse legs. But i also changed in my upper body, I wore a red Capulet. And I felt I was looking like a person from the middle ages. Could not quite figure out if I was male or female, I tend more towards male, but with a feminine kind of boyish energy. It was so so weird, I have never had something like a change of body occur to me during a meditation before. And then on top of that I did not even change into a another human but into a half animal half human.. Actually when I write this down I changed into a centaur when you consider I had (white)horse legs. And wow, now that I think of this I wrote a post a few days ago about the cornflower. Which has been my favorite flower for as long as I can remember, so I researched its symbolic meaning and learned that this flower has as Latin name, Cyanus, which has come from the centaur. Wow, is this what it feels like?? When the subconscious starts talking to me through its web of archetypical symbols and images to give me messages about who I am and where I need to go to be on my true path??
I feel that the main message I got from the white horse Is I that I should release all tendency towards wanting to control situations that are tender and purely made out of emotions. Just leave them as they are, leave them be and go with their flow...without wanting to be the driver of those situations. without attachment to a certain outcome and trying to steer the car that way! In surrendering my desire to steer not only will my physical health improve but also I feel clearly that my emotional health will benefit. And I also believe that any situation will flow, where it is supposed to go. For me this is a tough one to live by. As I always was the one in the driver’s seat. In earthly (money/work) matters I still feel I have to take charge firmly. Maybe that needs to change as well, to leave air to breathe for me and let more abundance flow in to my life naturally. It’s just so hard to live in faith and surrender when you feel like ( like I do) that you have always had to do everything by yourself. I realize now that I took the drives seat as much as I could to create a sense of safety for myself. Safety has always been a scares state of being in my life. Originating where it originates from for everybody, early childhood.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
The pathway is open to you, may it lead to your heart.
You have a power that has nothing to do with what you do
or what you say
or who you know
or where you are
or what you look like
or your skills
or your talents
or what you have.
It is the power of your presence.
It is the heat and light from your burning log.
And it touches everyone who comes in contact with you….
~Paul Williams, Remember your Essence
Beautiful Fearless Soft Endurance
Courageous Loving Determined
Flowing Truthful Wisdom Magical
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Pictures and their sources can be found here
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Picture found here
“You find out that what you are is a force—a force that makes it possible for your body to live, a force that makes it possible for your whole mind to dream.”
“Without you, without this force, your body would collapse on the floor. Without you, your whole dream just dissolves into nothing. What you really are is a force that is Life. If you look into the eyes of someone near you, you will see the self-awareness, the manifestation of Life, shining in his eyes. Life is not the body; it is not the mind; it is not the soul. It is a force. Through this force, a newborn baby becomes a child, a teenager, an adult; it reproduces and grows old. When Life leaves the body, the body decomposes and turns to dust.”
“You are Life passing through your body, passing through your mind, passing through your soul. Once you find that out, not with the logic, not with the intellect, but because you can feel that Life— you find out that you are the force that makes the flowers open and close, that makes the hummingbird fly from flower to flower. You find out that you are in every tree, you are in every animal, vegetable, and rock. You are that force that moves wind and breathes through your body. The whole universe is a living being that is moved by that force, and that is what you are. You are Life.”
Yesterday i had a break-through in finishing this painting. The painting felt stuck for a while. I layered over layer to get into the heart of it, but it failed to work for days.. And there it was suddenly flowing again.. No reason what caused it externally. And today it has flown into be finished :-) It's a painting with many layers, with many truths, with many intentions and thus with many stories.. It's original reason for me to paint it has turned into another. This one is about my first shamanic journey. It's not about the energy of someone else.
It’s become about my own energy...
I feel happy when looking at it....Not just for the visual way it turned out but for the energy i know is in there, between all the layers.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Picture source here
I found this text online just now, and the reason I wanted to post it right away is because it closely follows what i am slowly discovering and more importantly experiencing about energy and frequencies myself. I love the way this beautiful and inspiring concept is being explained here...
Tune in to the core of your body,” the Grandmothers said. “Whenever you occupy your center, everyone and everything connected to you lifts,” they explained.
“Every form of life is part of the same seamless whole,” they said, “so when you accept the fact that you are an exalted being and allow yourself to lift up, everything lifts. Whenever you take this centered place and feel it, you salute the truth of life and the truth of life salutes you back…”
“Come to the center…As soon as you tap into presence, pure energy will cascade outward from you. This outward flow produces a domino effect,” they said. “The process may sound simple, ” they said, “but it is not. The truth is this—your vibration can lift everyone on earth…”
“Basically, you are an electrical or energy body, so whenever the vibration within you moves to a higher frequency, the energy that surges outward from you affects everyone. Everything benefits.”
“Call on us,” the Grandmother eagles said. “Let us surround and hold you as you turn to the Divine within. Your energy will automatically rise upward when you do this….”
“Haven’t you had enough in the basement of life? …Rise up and be happy.”
“There is so much beauty/power present in you, so much is surging outward from this presence we speak of. We are sharing this information with you,” they said, “so you can know how energy works, so you can understand why we have come. And we are sharing this with you so you can know who you are.”
-Sharon McErlane from Our Love Is Our Power: Working With the Net of Light that Holds the Earth
Sunday, August 18, 2013
This morning started with finding a piece of wisdom from Jada Pinkett Smith. I found it on my Facebook timeline. It felt like it was speaking directly to me. I feel lots of resistance when thinking about what it said, because it's NOT what i want to look at in myself. But on the other hand I know it’s the only way to go. I have to look at if i am true to my own heart right now.
After i was alone i started to prepare for my 1st shamanic journey, like i planned for today and I wrote about in my previous post. I prepared doing some sage burning rituals. But i somehow never got to make the journey because there was an unfinished painting on my table and it kept pulling my attention. I just could not look away. So i decided to finish this first and maybe do the journey tomorrow.
The painting made me feel very emotional and i felt it strong because of that first piece of wisdom i read this morning, (the one from Jada). My process when I am painting is much about an intuitive flow, and I pick up from what surrounds me, and all that needs my souls' attention finds a way into my work.
So today was about this deep sadness i been feeling and that has been excruciating for me. I want to be lifted from this sadness.. Even if this dream I been having never comes true for him and me, the dream i been whishing for for 10 lonely months now. I don’t know what to do about that anymore to let it come true... I just know I desperately want to feel happy again.
Words in the painting:
*Please black Obsidian, I need your power.
*am I somebody’s dream, (woman)??
*My tears are connected to heaven, my blood is the rain in your heart.
*are you my spirit, Horse?
*NO! I don’t want to be looked at from nehind glass and from a 300 miles distance anymore..I want to be touched, I want to be held, I want to be loved by real hands and real skin.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
While catching up with the Visual Quest Facebook group and all the other course material, i came across this parable. Some people on Visual Quest have done 'journeys' already, guided by Pixie Campbel. Some came across some dominant and aggressive animals that tried to give them a message. Pixie's advise on this is: trying to 'be' with them instead of running from them might make us understand what they try to tell us. Because it's difficult to 'get' what these intense animals try to tell us if we feel resistance towards their 'style' of communicating with us. That message from animals is what is called 'animal medicine' in shamanic 'language'. I am so happy to learn all this..
This parable sheds a different light on facing fear. It gave me Goosebumps..
Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said, "Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission." Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied, "My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power." In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.
~Pema Chödrön
Monday, July 29, 2013
Today we had two lovely sisters to visit us.
This course means a very very whole lot to me, i just know i will be amazed and will spiritually grow by her teachings. I always do. And now it's going to be linked to something very important to me, painting! So my little altar represents and more it evokes all that is important to me right now. Energies I want to draw into in the paintings I will create during my Visual Quest course. Love is a big one, the energy that fills my heart in a big way since Oktober last year. And then my great grandmother, she is on the picture, she is with me as a guide right now. I can feel her warm soothing presence around me, which helps me so much. And the feathers i got from a special overseas friend. They come from her own birds, she gathered them for me in her garden. I use them to wave away negative energies and to cleans a room or a person with sage or incense. And my small collection of special stones and crystals, that hold special energy for me. My altar feels complete right now..YES, I am ready to go :-)
♥
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