And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom
Showing posts with label shaman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shaman. Show all posts
Friday, September 6, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
The painting of the white horse journey is coming to its ending faze. I had some struggles with it because I had real trouble letting go of attaching to an end result. I was very focused on giving an accurate description of my journey, and wanted to paint just that. That was before I understood a tiny tiny little more of what shamanic painting is. Like the aspect of letting the painting talk to you essentially.. But hey, let’s not leave the impression that I know anything about shamanic painting now. What I try to say is that I understood even less then nothing a few weeks ago...
You know I hope I don’t bore anyone because I really need to write all this stuff down right here on my blog. Because doing that leads me to see connections from a different perspective then when I would write it down in a dairy form and just for my own eyes to see. I am discovering all sorts of new connections though writing for you. I have always wanted to write a book when I would grow up..Well maybe this blog is a start..
But okay, back to the journey. What I wanted to talk about is that I had this really weird experience with the white horse after I took my journey. The day I took the journey was the same day I had my first session with a teacher to lift my energy work up onto a more professional level. I wrote about that fabulous learning experience in this post. Anyway, back to the white horse... that evening I did a guided mediation for the learning session with my teacher and in that mediation the white horse re-appeared. But in a totally unexpected way.
During meditating I felt my legs change into horse legs, white horse legs. But i also changed in my upper body, I wore a red Capulet. And I felt I was looking like a person from the middle ages. Could not quite figure out if I was male or female, I tend more towards male, but with a feminine kind of boyish energy. It was so so weird, I have never had something like a change of body occur to me during a meditation before. And then on top of that I did not even change into a another human but into a half animal half human.. Actually when I write this down I changed into a centaur when you consider I had (white)horse legs. And wow, now that I think of this I wrote a post a few days ago about the cornflower. Which has been my favorite flower for as long as I can remember, so I researched its symbolic meaning and learned that this flower has as Latin name, Cyanus, which has come from the centaur. Wow, is this what it feels like?? When the subconscious starts talking to me through its web of archetypical symbols and images to give me messages about who I am and where I need to go to be on my true path??
I feel that the main message I got from the white horse Is I that I should release all tendency towards wanting to control situations that are tender and purely made out of emotions. Just leave them as they are, leave them be and go with their flow...without wanting to be the driver of those situations. without attachment to a certain outcome and trying to steer the car that way! In surrendering my desire to steer not only will my physical health improve but also I feel clearly that my emotional health will benefit. And I also believe that any situation will flow, where it is supposed to go. For me this is a tough one to live by. As I always was the one in the driver’s seat. In earthly (money/work) matters I still feel I have to take charge firmly. Maybe that needs to change as well, to leave air to breathe for me and let more abundance flow in to my life naturally. It’s just so hard to live in faith and surrender when you feel like ( like I do) that you have always had to do everything by yourself. I realize now that I took the drives seat as much as I could to create a sense of safety for myself. Safety has always been a scares state of being in my life. Originating where it originates from for everybody, early childhood.
Picture source here
I haven’t written anything specific about my first shamanic journey. As the last week of the Visual Quest painting course is almost ending. I feel i really need and want to share this experience here. It has been a deeply transformative proces and all i learned has been a huge magical discovery for me. It feels i have now a tool and so many more possibilities to bring my 'real self' into my art work. Its amazing, it's like an opening for a deeper relationship with what i create. I have now tools to connect on a totally different level with my paintings, much deeper then it ever was possible.
With being given the possibilty to participate in the course Visual Quest I feel i have been shown a doorway to go ‘underground’ and meet consciously with my sub-consciousness. I feel really excited in exploring this further. I want to learn to listen carefully to the messages and looking around me when I am there to absorb what I see with as much detail as possible. The animal I met with was a white horse. The message passed by that horse to me during the journey was I believe to help me go forward in life, in the way that’s best for me. To help me get or stay on my right path..Now I need to figure out what horses stand for and in particular what white horses stand for. And then try to really ‘feel-out’ what it was trying to tell me.
Right now i'm still working on my 'white horse painting'. I will post pictures of it later today..
With being given the possibilty to participate in the course Visual Quest I feel i have been shown a doorway to go ‘underground’ and meet consciously with my sub-consciousness. I feel really excited in exploring this further. I want to learn to listen carefully to the messages and looking around me when I am there to absorb what I see with as much detail as possible. The animal I met with was a white horse. The message passed by that horse to me during the journey was I believe to help me go forward in life, in the way that’s best for me. To help me get or stay on my right path..Now I need to figure out what horses stand for and in particular what white horses stand for. And then try to really ‘feel-out’ what it was trying to tell me.
Right now i'm still working on my 'white horse painting'. I will post pictures of it later today..
The concept of the spirit guided message:
It’s important thing to remember about an animal guide and totem is that they are not magic and cannot truly benefit individuals unless they accept the guidance the guides offer and internalize the special qualities of the animal in order to consciously externalize those qualities in outward behavior.
No totem or spiritual guide would lead people to negative or destructive behaviors. You must consider how the animal, with its strengths and positive qualities, is speaking to your own personal spiritual life. Through the exploration of the spiritual meaning on a personal level, animal guides can remind you to call on your reserve of strengths to achieve a more peaceful and rewarding existence.
I went looking online to see what spirit guide horses have to tell us and in particular what a white horse guides tells us. While doing so I came across some beautiful messages, explanations and archetypal descriptions of horse guides.
Here is some of my beautiful findings, the first one is totally matching the message I have been given in my journey. It blew me away as I have found out almost two weeks after my journey that this was exactly the message the white horse has given me.
· The horse possesses many virtues that are powerful and valuable and which any person would be wise to internalize. The gift of the horse is to release any desire to be in control. the best way to go is to surrender to the horse’s (as I read it ‘to life’)being which in return allows the horse to carry its charge forward on his or hers true path. Thus horse medicine is complete surrender of ego!!!
· A horse will only bond with someone it trusts. ... When a horse bonds with its owner, there is mutual respect and cooperation. Bonding requires patience because it takes time and is an ongoing process. Bonding requires spending quality time together, especially in a non-working environment where demands are not made. The best way to bond with a horse is simply to hang out together and have fun getting to know each other. A horse will bond when it can sense unconditional love. ... Just as horses will bond only with those they know.
· Horse totems are associated with the element of air and of swift movement. Get in touch with that energy by visualizing a horse galloping across the horizon with its manes flowing freely.
· A horse totem is a strong spirit and its magical properties are one of the most influential of all animal totems. Strength, friendship, virtue, cooperation, adventure, movement, freedom..and so much more..
· Horses represent a guide to overcoming obstacle. Horse people are wild spirits and their spirit cannot be broken.
· A horse teaches that power cannot be attained by force, but rather it is given to him who is willing to accept responsibility in a respectful manner.
· The horse totem indicates travel and new journeys and directions in life.
· Horses are said to be able to sense those with magical powers and can see good or evil in people. They will also warn humans from danger.
· Horses are very intelligent animals and are sensitive to a multitude of human emotions from happiness to anger and they respond to these emotions in various ways.
· A horse shows both earthy strength and unearthly powers. It is regarded highly throughout the world and connected with the magical powers of shamans.
· The power of the horse is the wisdom to remember all steps in one’s life and to learn from them. This includes experiences from a previous life.
· To watch a horse in the wild is truly an experience of its majesty, its grace and its magnetism.
· Real power is strength used with wisdom. This requires love, compassion, and the willingness to share ones achievements and insights with others. It’s important to deny our ego to have access to this power. The horse spirit is power through awareness. A horse brings strength and force into the energy field of the person, which gives them the freedom to journey to far places.
· One who has the power of the horse will see enhanced insight and intuition, a better sense of self control allowing one the ability to use strong self confidence to move in new directions.
· The color of the horse is also steeped with symbolic meanings:
white horses: light, sun, day, vitality, illumination, resurrection, messenger of birth
This information i have found on this website
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
The pathway is open to you, may it lead to your heart.
You have a power that has nothing to do with what you do
or what you say
or who you know
or where you are
or what you look like
or your skills
or your talents
or what you have.
It is the power of your presence.
It is the heat and light from your burning log.
And it touches everyone who comes in contact with you….
~Paul Williams, Remember your Essence
Beautiful Fearless Soft Endurance
Courageous Loving Determined
Flowing Truthful Wisdom Magical
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Pictures and their sources can be found here
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Picture found here
“You find out that what you are is a force—a force that makes it possible for your body to live, a force that makes it possible for your whole mind to dream.”
“Without you, without this force, your body would collapse on the floor. Without you, your whole dream just dissolves into nothing. What you really are is a force that is Life. If you look into the eyes of someone near you, you will see the self-awareness, the manifestation of Life, shining in his eyes. Life is not the body; it is not the mind; it is not the soul. It is a force. Through this force, a newborn baby becomes a child, a teenager, an adult; it reproduces and grows old. When Life leaves the body, the body decomposes and turns to dust.”
“You are Life passing through your body, passing through your mind, passing through your soul. Once you find that out, not with the logic, not with the intellect, but because you can feel that Life— you find out that you are the force that makes the flowers open and close, that makes the hummingbird fly from flower to flower. You find out that you are in every tree, you are in every animal, vegetable, and rock. You are that force that moves wind and breathes through your body. The whole universe is a living being that is moved by that force, and that is what you are. You are Life.”
Monday, August 26, 2013
Picture source here
I found this text online just now, and the reason I wanted to post it right away is because it closely follows what i am slowly discovering and more importantly experiencing about energy and frequencies myself. I love the way this beautiful and inspiring concept is being explained here...
Tune in to the core of your body,” the Grandmothers said. “Whenever you occupy your center, everyone and everything connected to you lifts,” they explained.
“Every form of life is part of the same seamless whole,” they said, “so when you accept the fact that you are an exalted being and allow yourself to lift up, everything lifts. Whenever you take this centered place and feel it, you salute the truth of life and the truth of life salutes you back…”
“Come to the center…As soon as you tap into presence, pure energy will cascade outward from you. This outward flow produces a domino effect,” they said. “The process may sound simple, ” they said, “but it is not. The truth is this—your vibration can lift everyone on earth…”
“Basically, you are an electrical or energy body, so whenever the vibration within you moves to a higher frequency, the energy that surges outward from you affects everyone. Everything benefits.”
“Call on us,” the Grandmother eagles said. “Let us surround and hold you as you turn to the Divine within. Your energy will automatically rise upward when you do this….”
“Haven’t you had enough in the basement of life? …Rise up and be happy.”
“There is so much beauty/power present in you, so much is surging outward from this presence we speak of. We are sharing this information with you,” they said, “so you can know how energy works, so you can understand why we have come. And we are sharing this with you so you can know who you are.”
-Sharon McErlane from Our Love Is Our Power: Working With the Net of Light that Holds the Earth
Thursday, August 22, 2013
I been wondering what this word meas for a while now.. Now i keep hearing it more often from all kinds of directions, i figure that it means it has a message for me (and others). This is the explanation that i 'get' and love!
Picture and text from here
Indigenous Is
Indigenous is not a skin color,
Indigenous is not my nose,
...Indigenous is not my lips,
Indigenous is not romanticizing ancient teachings,
To appropriate,
To disseminate,
To cut to pieces,
And abbreviate in a research document,
Indigenous is removing layers of shame from your ancestors trail,
Indigenous is stepping up to the plate,
Healing and creating a new way for future generations,
Indigenous is standing tall,
Indigenous is standing beautifully,
Indigenous is an honor.
-Anishinaabekwe
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
By the time i was good and ready to start painting what i had seen on my shamanic journey yesterday, i felt compelled to start on another painting at the same time. I do that often, work on multiple canvasses. It works really well, when one is drying the other is ready to be worked on again.
This second painting will be a new 'channeled' painting. It will be for someone i again have never met in real life, just had contact with through email. I can feel her energy very strong, she is a very special person. I am so curious what the painting will show me about her. I have still not yet any clear vision of what it wants to reveil about her, just color and texture, and a bird. I am so enjoying this kind of painting. I will start working soon on a plan on how to offer this publicly, so people can order a channeled painting from me in the future. Well anyway, if anyone likes to order one already you an always email me offcourse. Dissiones(at)hetnet.nl
This white horse was the animal i met in the journey.
Paiting by Katia Monaci
I feel so good after my firts shamanic journey yesterday. I feel like i don't know where i'm going, but i'm on my way...
Yesterday i did my firts shamanic journey. I was a bit nervous before hand, but it wasn't scary at all. I got back just fine and I did not have the feeling any second that i might get lost somewhere in the lower world. These were my initial fears, but they weren't legit at all. Today i want to feel out how to translate what i saw onto a canvas.. Let's see where that will lead.
What felt and saw:
- white horse
- black eyes
- blue-ish around the eyes
- Release message: to let go of control
- Message: to flow
- soft green landscape
- wide 'french' farm landscape
- blue sky
- calmness
- warmth
- smell of august
- harvest time
- big feather
- Round reddish brown sign drawn on my skin around my heart
Some other stuff that came up later yesterday and i think has something to do with the journey:
- full moon
- Women feet and lower part of the legs turning into hooves of a white horse
- Polish medicine women
- arrow
- my feet as white horse legs
- red capulet
- vulcano
- dark female strenght
Card i pulled for myself for today is called 'the feathers of the firebird'
Sunday, August 18, 2013
This morning started with finding a piece of wisdom from Jada Pinkett Smith. I found it on my Facebook timeline. It felt like it was speaking directly to me. I feel lots of resistance when thinking about what it said, because it's NOT what i want to look at in myself. But on the other hand I know it’s the only way to go. I have to look at if i am true to my own heart right now.
After i was alone i started to prepare for my 1st shamanic journey, like i planned for today and I wrote about in my previous post. I prepared doing some sage burning rituals. But i somehow never got to make the journey because there was an unfinished painting on my table and it kept pulling my attention. I just could not look away. So i decided to finish this first and maybe do the journey tomorrow.
The painting made me feel very emotional and i felt it strong because of that first piece of wisdom i read this morning, (the one from Jada). My process when I am painting is much about an intuitive flow, and I pick up from what surrounds me, and all that needs my souls' attention finds a way into my work.
So today was about this deep sadness i been feeling and that has been excruciating for me. I want to be lifted from this sadness.. Even if this dream I been having never comes true for him and me, the dream i been whishing for for 10 lonely months now. I don’t know what to do about that anymore to let it come true... I just know I desperately want to feel happy again.
Words in the painting:
*Please black Obsidian, I need your power.
*am I somebody’s dream, (woman)??
*My tears are connected to heaven, my blood is the rain in your heart.
*are you my spirit, Horse?
*NO! I don’t want to be looked at from nehind glass and from a 300 miles distance anymore..I want to be touched, I want to be held, I want to be loved by real hands and real skin.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
While catching up with the Visual Quest Facebook group and all the other course material, i came across this parable. Some people on Visual Quest have done 'journeys' already, guided by Pixie Campbel. Some came across some dominant and aggressive animals that tried to give them a message. Pixie's advise on this is: trying to 'be' with them instead of running from them might make us understand what they try to tell us. Because it's difficult to 'get' what these intense animals try to tell us if we feel resistance towards their 'style' of communicating with us. That message from animals is what is called 'animal medicine' in shamanic 'language'. I am so happy to learn all this..
This parable sheds a different light on facing fear. It gave me Goosebumps..
Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said, "Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission." Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied, "My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power." In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.
~Pema Chödrön
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Visual Quest sketch on a ripped cereal box
In this sketch a flamingo appeared. inspired by our visit to the zoo yesterday. flamingo's are one of the most magical animals to me. i always have been fascinated by them. so i was wondering what their 'medicine' is. What i found out about their medicine was simply beautiful...
Flamingo medicine:
Why are your feathers so gorgeuosly pink? We used to be clouds. Pink clouds... How can you stand on one leg without falling over? We think of where we came from and just relax. Anything is possible if we came from being a pink cloud to standing here before you on one leg.
Let him inspire you to stretch beyond your limits and reach for the stars while remaining grounded in Mother Earth. Cut loose from the mundane world. Your imagination lives outside the boundaries of space and time. Use it to look beyond the limits of modern day thinking. Since time began, humankind has turned eastward toward the rising sun to remember Soul’s hope every day.
It’s time to expand your vision - In what ways are you thinking too small?
Words i used in this sketch:
What haunts us most are the things we never said.
I am not a master, i know nothing.My heart is radiant and it wants t
to flow back to the river.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Today we had two lovely sisters to visit us.
This course means a very very whole lot to me, i just know i will be amazed and will spiritually grow by her teachings. I always do. And now it's going to be linked to something very important to me, painting! So my little altar represents and more it evokes all that is important to me right now. Energies I want to draw into in the paintings I will create during my Visual Quest course. Love is a big one, the energy that fills my heart in a big way since Oktober last year. And then my great grandmother, she is on the picture, she is with me as a guide right now. I can feel her warm soothing presence around me, which helps me so much. And the feathers i got from a special overseas friend. They come from her own birds, she gathered them for me in her garden. I use them to wave away negative energies and to cleans a room or a person with sage or incense. And my small collection of special stones and crystals, that hold special energy for me. My altar feels complete right now..YES, I am ready to go :-)
♥
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