Getting a glimpse

Picture made of one of my sewed paintings by Claudette van de Rakt

By saying what I am about to say now I realize that i will be risking being called crazy from now on  by all of the people who take the time and effort to come and read my blog... But I am going to talk about this anyway, partly because I can’t stop smiling about this 'thing' I found out about myself,  and partly i would just like to shout it from each rooftop ...

There is a history behind this story which started at a very early age. I always as long as I can remember have had  this immensely great interest in the invisible world surrounding us. And this came also with a huge sense of being pulled towards all that is unseen. Pulled as in not having a choice NOT to know and feel constantly it surrounds us and is like a parallel reality to ours.

The last few months I have been feeling as if things in my life surrounding this subject have gotten in a fast mode. 'Things' kept presenting itself to me, and all I had to do was follow the trail to see where it would lead me. The trail lead me to the answer to my long long time uttered prayers in finding a teacher who can guide me into my right path where dealing with the unseen world  is concerned. I have been feeling ‘stuff’ that is a bit unusual and not really a topic for party conversations, unless you want to be labeled a freak, for all my life. I just learned to live with it and mostly tried to ignore it to be able to see myself as being perfectly ‘normal’. And also i always tried ignoring it because especially my father had been worried that if i would open up to the unseen world, i would end up in a loony home for sure. And i kind of believed him until recently, where i finally broke free from his good intentions and fatherly concerns, i started to follow my own plan.

The things I feel/sense and see are things that I only express to people that I know in my heart speak the same language. And that have been not too many until now, but luckily a few have crossed paths with me. My prayers have been answered recently when I met the right person to help me recognize and help me remember what I have been doing unconsciously for a long time.  

So as of recently i have entered  a study program for people that channel unseen energies. Actually it is a program to basically become a professional  medium. I am being taught how to professionalize my skills. Yesterday I had this mind blowing experience when I was asked to see if I could sense and describe the guides of my teacher. I got confirmation that all I saw, sensed and felt were the details about (real, but already diseased) family members of my teacher. The information I 'got' about them came flowing out of my mouth with an ease and in great detail, I had never imagined 'it' could flow through me.. My teacher had been convinced even before this 'lesson' that I am a natural medium, and that all that has to happen for me to realize it is for me to start to 'remember' that about myself. But when I listen to what I am supposedly capable of according to what my teacher says, I just feel like waving my head and politely saying thank you for the heartfelt compliments, but to myself I think they must be talking about someone else, not me...  

But since yesterday evening due to what happened with the guides I channeled I feel this sort of breakthrough happening in my own confidence.  I’m carefully getting this fragile feeling that maybe I could?! Maybe I could be useful to others, and at the same time do what I always dreamed to do, to become a professional medium? 

I am so happy to have been lead to the right person to help me re-connect to something that has been lingering inside me ever since i was a child, and that i had always put aside as being too weird to handle. Partly 'too weird' because I had no idea what it could be useful for... And as i am really a practical kind of girl by heart, i don't like to do stuff that is seemingly 'useless' :-)

I would like to shout this happy feeling I have now from the rooftops because I have always deeply wished my destiny is to help people, in the same way my teacher does, as a medium... Now I got a glimpse of the fact that I could truly be slowly on my way to find my way into that...