No mud, no lotus

*I am the seeker of your heart, i just whish i knew is you ever want me to find it.

I been feeling like walking through muddy water..up to my elbows in the brown mud. trying to make way, make room, make a safe place for the lotus to grow. There are days like today that i feel like i am doing everything wrong. All I do all I say can be interpreted the wrong way. I wish I had kept silent..

*But no no, no regrets, that'sjust the mud. I need to remind myself that where there is no mud there also will be no lotus..

Should I quit trying?..Why can’t I quit bringing buckets full of water to the river. I need to acknowledge that I cant make the river flow by myself. But it's so hard to stand back with a heart full of longing and only wait and see if the water level will come up and flow the natural way between two hearts. The one BIG question 'will the river ever flow without me trying so hard' keeps pounding in my head, i feel so tired...

  

  

*The lotus flowergrows in muddy water and rises above the surface to bloom with remarkable beauty. At night the flower closes and sinks underwater, at dawn it rises and opens again. Untouched by the impurity, lotus symbolizes the purity of heart and mind. The lotus flower represents long life, health, honor and good luck