Recycling...

Once someone told me that when you look in the eyes of a child you are given a peek into heaven...

I really like that idea.. 

My sweet girl.....

My sweet boy....

Today I cleaned up my studio. It was a mess i left while working on all the new stuff I lately have put up in my shop.....

While on the subject of cleaning I went through my hard disk, and started to clean up old blog pictures. But a few of them took me on a pleasant memory lane...so here are some to share with you, recycled... 

Painting all over himself was & is what he likes best :-)

                                     Pregnant with my baby girl, and almost due on this picture...

My son getting born...

A sweet sweater made for my baby girl by my very dear blog friend, Beth :-)

Hmmmm....

My little starwberry :-)

♥

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Some music for if you are in need of background music! While cooking or if you decide to clean your house today...or when you suddenly feel like sorting out your administration, your closets or if you just need to lay on your back and relax...

For B♥, the song on 0.30.50 of the timeline on this video is for you...

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The deep levels of the feminine and masculine

I am trying to grasp the things the astrologer, Tom Lescher,  is teaching us about the new age that is about to come. The Aquarius age. When I hear him say something that resonates with me I make notes. In my last post I wrote about the feminine energy that is getting stronger and will be brought to us by the black moon Lilith versus the masculine energy that has ruled over the feminine for the past 6500 years.

When I look at the last post I get irritated with myself, it’s incomplete and a bit superficial what I wrote. But then again I had not seen the video I watched last night yet when I wrote that post.  So now I am going to try to bring in the nuance I miss in my last post about the masculine versus the feminine.  

What is very important, and what he talks about a little later in this video. I am going to start with it because it makes the rest, the more difficult part in his story about this battle of the sexes becomes more subtle, more fluent, beacause this story is not meant to point the finger at men. As if the men in this world right now are the ones to blame and the women are the victims. 

*So on that he says;  we are all both masculine and feminine. We all have had so many past lives in those 6500 years. So we carry the quilt, the anger, the power and the strength of both the feminine and the masculine inside of us.  There is a war between the sexes going on in each and every one of our own souls. So we have to become aware that we are projecting it onto the women and man outside of us. The fact that we are saying all the time, women are this and men are that, is a kind of projection of what goes on inside us all. But offcourse  it's also a reality of what we see around us. We can see examples of this going on in the world right now. The angry woman, and the men ashamed guilty, wanting to be sensitive but then losing their power, feeling disempowered by these strong women that are now emerging. And the men kind of letting go feeling ashamed of their masculinity. Feeling ashamed of their strength.

*So here are my notes(actually it has become more of a transcript of what he says in this video);

The masculine energy is strength..the feminine is power. The masculine is the energy that works in this third dimensional material world, it is about accomplishing goals and make ends meet, produce and work. The masculine does not know itself, it is naïf and innocent.  There is an openness and a simplicity. The feminine is the inner power, the wisdom, connected to the earths mysteries and connected to seeing and feeling the unseen. He says; the masculine is in need of the guidance of the feminine, to become aware of himself. The feminine needs to be patient and needs to be the teacher the guiding force. For the feminine it’s easy to manipulate and coheres and move the masculine. It’s easy because there is a fear  in the masculine, not knowing what to do, or not knowing what is right, or not knowing what the path is. He needs the feminine power, but at the same time he is very aware of the lack of knowing and the lack of power. In the masculine there is a dependency for that power, for that knowing of the feminine, and this makes the masculine afraid. And this fear brought about the patriarchy, it brought about the male domination. Because of that fear of the feminine, the male domination of the last 6500hunderd years have suppressed the feminine. It has held her down and wounded her. Even degraded and dismissed her. And the masculine soul now carries guilt. Men are born into this feeling of shame, not even knowing the source. It’s in the unconsious it’s in the soul pattern. There is a knowing the among men that they have done something not to be proud of. At the same time the women are being born into a feeling of anger because of the suppression and the wound. There is desire for revenge to get back, to resume the position of power and control, independence and liberation.  

*The next part of the transcript is very important, please do not forget to read this;

So on a deeper level this age change from Pisces to Aquarius that we are in right now, is about the ending of separation, and is preparing us for union. It involves each one of us inwardly, acknowledging where we are right now, acknowledging that we carry this anger, that we carry this shame. But that in nature the role of the mother the role of the feminine, is to support and to be devoted to the masculine, so that they can with their strength go forward, like a machete cutting its way through the jungle. The men need the support of the feminine. The feminine needs the strength of the masculine, we are interdependent. The war has to stop, and that involves men listening to the women, the masculine being educated, trough the ways of the heart, through the ways of the mother, through the ways of the earth, through the wisdom of the feminine. This needs to be heated not feared, so it requires a humility, a humbleness, a surrendering to the feminine power. But not letting go of the strength of the masculine, and being trampled upon and being manipulated, and having that shame and guilt eat us away on the inside. But to humble and surrender, and to still lead the way, the feminine is calling the masculine to lead the way on this dimension. The feminine is counting on the masculine to make the changes, to destroy the limiting established forms and structures, and introduce the new. And men need all the confidence strength and support in order to make those positive moves. So the women have to be very careful in their education not to use the guilt or the shame to dominate, to control or try to take over, not to try to win the war of the sexes. So at the same time the feminine needs to see its place, and also let go of its pride(without carrying out any arrogance), let go of its greatness of having all the answers and all the wisdom, the high priestess. She needs also to bow down in humility to the masculine. So there is this surrendering, of both the masculine needs to surrender to the feminine and the feminine needs to surrender to the strength of the masculine. And yet the masculine is counting on the feminine to be there, the nurturing, supportive, wise teacher,  that is not going to take advantage of them, manipulate them or overrule them, override them in their naïve, innocent ignorance.

*Now what made me the happiest to hear:

So there is the need for trust, that the feminine, the woman is not going to abuse her power. And then the feminine needs to trust the masculine, if I give you these secrets if I share my truth and if I bow down to your strength and if I devote myself to nurturing you, and supporting you to go out into the world, and do your thing, and trust that you will come back and protect me, and care for me, and be true to me without betraying me, and my trust. Then these things can work out.

*To be clear, i am not pretending here i am such a wise woman because these are all, or 98% Tom Lesher's words. Not mine.

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Tom Lescher on Black moon Lilith, Island, Aquarius & feminine energy...

This is so interesting! It takes an hour to listen to but i promise it's very worth your precious time..

What I personally found particularly interesting about the various themes he talks about in this video is;

Black moon Lilith, Adams first wife, who left him because he was dominating her. She apparently is an ancient goddess who embodies the feminine and the dark..the wise and the truth in the world. We will be going to feel her strength more and more in this age, (Aquarius) because the male, the dominating of female, the greedy, the logic, our institution based society and the square headed masculine influence is going to get less powerful in the next age. The Black moon Lilith energy is coming back after having been overruled in the past 6500 years by too much of the masculine energy.

& What he has to say about Island, is super inspiring..

If you have time to watch this please do. I really think you will feel inspired....Black moon Litith, 

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Today this little sweetie and i are staying home...

She wasn’t feeling well and I was home from work, so we are going to make a lovely day just the two of us....with lots of video’s featuring this particular holy guy that is 'haunting' the kids of Holland these weeks..                    


                                  

  ...‘Sinterklaas ‘...

♥

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Getting old(er)...

Today i stumbled across a pair of cheap reading glasses. It turns out my headaches while reading can be easily fixed. I feel like now i really turned a corner. Beacuse they say your sight gets weaker from 40 up, so now i am officially one of them, and i am 'only' 41!!!

:-0

I am getting older!!! And as a friend so elequantly pointed out when i said this, next stop is meno pauze... But this i actually look forward to, except for the hot fashes that come with it.

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I always wondered....

I always wondered what a 'light being' looks like....

Maybe like this :-)

Yes, i know i have a lot of imagination...and when i have nothing to do it runs wild :-)

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A brand new pillow collection....

This is a brand new pillow collection by me for my shop LeiLiLaLoo...

I call them drawn pillows because i drew portraits of women with thread, using my sewing machine as a 'inkpen'... The pillows arevmade from linen and are made in the shape of houses.... The homes of these women...

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What is?

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Insecurity!

I started to read some of Deepak Chopra’s writings and look at some YouTube videos of him. The thing that stuck in my mind is what I heard him say about insecurity. I (me) am a deeply insecure person and doubting my every move. Even almost every thought and feeling I have I tend to doubt. So what he says about it is really clearing some stuff up in me so to say..

He says; insecurity is where creativity comes from. Insecurity should be cherished and should be seen as a source of great wisdom. 

WOW!!!

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Soft with sorrow....

Your eyes are soft with sorrow.......

Because we had to say goodbye....

Walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme.....

My eyes are soft with sorrow.......

                                      You know my love goes with you as your love stays with me....

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I don't want to do them wrong..

I don't know how to blog after the last blogpost...everything that comes after feels wrong. Feels like i am doing the childeren and the grieve wrong.. Only posting about love seems right...

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Feeling so sad...

This image, which I laid eyes on through Facebook about a week ago keeps occupying my mind. I just can’t forget it.

I spend a lot of time on my bicycle a lot going from A to B, and while cycling I come to a meditative state. And in that state things pop up in my mind out of nowhere. It’s things that on a subconscious level are most important to me in that moment.  So this image just won’t stop popping up since I saw it. And when it does  I start to imagine how I would feel if i was the parent kissing my dead child like that..or I wonder what it would do to me being a peaceful person at heart, would I want to take revenge on the people responsible for her death. And how would I want to take revenge??? When I feel sad or frustrated about things in my daily life, it seems so trivial when this image comes to mind again.

On Facebook we get lots of propaganda pictures of both sides in the current Israel-Hamas conflict. Both sides claim they are the victim of the other.. It’s so incredible hard to understand what is really going on. And even harder to know what the answer should be to make it stop. I just know my heart breaks looking at and thinking about this(and all similar)image. 

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Pink haired ladies...

These pink haired ladies are in my shop as of now...

So if you are still in need for some Christmas shopping I would be delighted if you would pay my shop a visit...Maybe there is something in there you would like :-)

  

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Oh, NOOOOO its that Party Time again!!!

Picture by Miho Sakato

This guy, SinterKlaas(he is NOT Santa) has come to the Netherlands again since this weekend.. It's a typical Dutch tradtion. He has come to bring gifts for childeren who have been nice. They can put their shoes at the door before they go to sleep so he can put a gift in it during the night. For kids it’s always something to look incredibly forward to. But as a parent it’s a whole different story..it feels more like terror! My son is now waking up numerous times during the night, thinking, and even worse, talking out loud about if and what he will find in his shoe when I get’s up in the morning..then before six in the morning he will start asking if I will go with him in to see what he got..AAAHaaaCH, because he is afraid to go alone! Okay, I know...I should be more supportive, I was always just like him, super excited and thinking of nothing else during these three weeks every year..But I need my sleep, I am old now!!!!!

They make drawings for him..This drawing was made by my son. He made it so i could put it in my shoe. My sweetheart wants me to get a present in my shoe as well.

This is what he wrote on the drawing:
'I make a drawing for you, because my mommy is working...'

And then he writes, 'From mommy..' (as if i had made it for Sinterklaas). He is so sweet!!!

 So the gifts they found in their shoes this morning were these clothes to dress up like SinterKlaas...

They had al lot of fun this morning dressing up :-)

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New ink drawings...

My shop will be updated with these new ink drawings today..

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A Sunday photo shoot...

Today is about doing a photo shoot if my new pillows in my ‘tres chique’ photo studio aka the back of my kitchen cupboard.

These will be in my shop very soon. i am aiming to do the update tonight or tomorrow evening..

Meanwhile this delightful little creature was running around, sneezing, dancing, painting  and also breaking a few things...It’s a daily challenge to juggle motherhood and being a small business owner...

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A class about the beginning of the universe

This is so great to watch..Professor Robbert Dijkgraaf is explaning the way the universe began..Sadly it's only to understand by people who can speak Dutch. But it's so great to hear i had to share it...

He did a second class about the smallest parts in the universe. So great! Also in Dutch. It's possibe to see it here

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What my little professor came up with today...

He (he is six) asked me to put up a DVD for him, to choose one for him..

Mama, how do you know what I like?

Oh, wait I know, (so cute he come up with most of his own answers), that’s because I came from your belly. And when I came out I left a few of my thoughts inside you. And because they are still inside your body you know what I like.

How I just love this guys theory’s..  Here is another one..

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Saturday...music and words to think about..

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